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About Us

I wouldn't trust us with your book,
but you might be desperate.

Figures & False Data

Our highly adroit altruistic amatory fashion is bellicose while sometimes calamitous. Defamation while egregious is not intentionally fulsome. Though our garrulousness may seem guileless, it is unreservedly petulant banter.

Service Spread

Copy Writing
Chavi Bunson
Chavi Bunson
Creative Director

Chavi is a prize winning author when people stopped reading books and turned to YouTube for entertainment he thought, "What's the point?" That's when he came to work for Millenia.

Trudi Mayonnaise
Trudi Mayonnaise
Distribution Specialist

Trudi makes a mean BLT so primarily that's why we keep her around. Distribution is really all automated and outsourced. But hey if we can afford to keep her we will.

Jeff Regins
Jeff Regins
Brand Director

Jeff did 27 years at ITT Tech but jumped ship when he learned things were heading south. We picked him up and now he's bossing the branding department around. He's one happy guy.

People     Millenia

  • It's clear to see just how seriously these guys need help. I mean who writes this stuff? This cannot be taken seriously. It only furthers the dumbing down of America. Someone buy me a juice box. I need a juice box.

    Angus Thompson
    Former Customer
  • Mom! Stop writing about our homelife and putting it out for the world to read! How am I ever going to be taken seriously? I hate you! By the way, I need $850 for rent, and my car insurance is coming up for renewal.

    Rickie Dempsey
    Child of Author
  • I go to bed each night with the terror of what path is being laid before me. How can people be this messed up in the head. Where they dropped on the head? Have I been dropped on the head? Someone tell me it's going to be okay.

    Jenny Cassell
    Long Time Customer